During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize