He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize