i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize