We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
