guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
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Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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