Someone shit on the floor
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
