I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How external is "for external use only"?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Who died my cat blue again?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize