just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
