I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
