census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
