I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize