I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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