My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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