butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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