Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
