you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
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Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.