Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
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