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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.

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• (562): View more from California

  Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.

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• (+66): View more from Thailand

  Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.

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