Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
