i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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