Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize