not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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