she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
