he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
