Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
