I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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