and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize