I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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