That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
