actually, I'm a sock model
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
where are my eyebrows?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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