I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
