i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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