I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
