I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize