"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
