since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
