he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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