I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize