well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
