What a fucking waste of an outfit
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
