At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
