you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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