9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
there is puke in my bra ... again
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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