I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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