girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
