at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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