Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
