THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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