Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
