There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
