I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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