he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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