I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
