You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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