I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
