I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works