3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.