Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Capitaan dildo arrescate!

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  (201): Capitaan dildo arrescate! http://tfl.nu/0s0z
  Replies (40) Good night (2308) Bad night (667)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i think i recognize dicks better than faces

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  (250): i think i recognize dicks better than faces http://tfl.nu/zcpp
  Replies (56) Good night (3977) Bad night (3088)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....

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  (609): just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public.... http://tfl.nu/rq3r
  Replies (24) Good night (7729) Bad night (2116)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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  (512): Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box. http://tfl.nu/wxom
  Replies (7) Good night (3059) Bad night (943)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.

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  (336): i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later. http://tfl.nu/c2qt
  Replies (5) Good night (3335) Bad night (1819)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...

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  (304): Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof... http://tfl.nu/amda
  Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I think winning the long island race means you lose at life

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  (414): I think winning the long island race means you lose at life http://tfl.nu/iy8p
  Replies (5) Good night (1189) Bad night (682)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.

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  (804): What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language. http://tfl.nu/0hum
  Replies (3) Good night (2806) Bad night (758)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.

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  (812): Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome. http://tfl.nu/9uj2
  Replies (9) Good night (1645) Bad night (657)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.

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  (551): No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours. http://tfl.nu/8sve
  Replies (4) Good night (1284) Bad night (335)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled

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  (910): I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled http://tfl.nu/mvb6
  Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (1150)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Still dying that you shit outside

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  (267): Still dying that you shit outside http://tfl.nu/a3uv
  Replies (5) Good night (506) Bad night (359)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support

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  (404): I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support http://tfl.nu/236u
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (360)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.

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  (479): I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself. http://tfl.nu/jsbo
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.

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  (972): I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs. http://tfl.nu/tu0n
  Replies (1) Good night (1254) Bad night (241)

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