Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.

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  (248): The first sip always goes straight to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/w086
  Replies (17) Good night (5998) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee

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  (516): Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee http://tfl.nu/xpqv
  Replies (16) Good night (3240) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..

  (1-567): View more from Ohio

  How so?

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.

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  (567): I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand.. (1-567): How so? (567): Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/38h3
  Replies (9) Good night (1057) Bad night (4066)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.

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  (407): the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever. http://tfl.nu/psk0
  Replies (14) Good night (6081) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it

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  (704): see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it http://tfl.nu/o2df
  Replies (33) Good night (9419) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.

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  (434): Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore. http://tfl.nu/10x7
  Replies (11) Good night (4428) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

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  (260): A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him http://tfl.nu/k8ud
  Replies (25) Good night (1705) Bad night (6602)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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  (330): Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/41un
  Replies (5) Good night (2168) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs

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  (248): Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs http://tfl.nu/e5lz
  Replies (8) Good night (2065) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.

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  (303): But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed. http://tfl.nu/6rp2
  Replies (7) Good night (2669) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're my favorite person

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  (913): I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that. (1-913): You're my favorite person http://tfl.nu/9772
  Replies (7) Good night (1217) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"

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  (774): Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be" http://tfl.nu/8qrq
  Replies (0) Good night (577) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.

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  (832): She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th. http://tfl.nu/6ohj
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just want to make out with him forever

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  (203): I just want to make out with him forever http://tfl.nu/lf08
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (199)

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