okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings