Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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