Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.