If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
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It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.