This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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