I think I just saw someone hide a body.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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