He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
