Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
